I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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