A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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