Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
