the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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