Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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