Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
