Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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