my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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