dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
