Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
