I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
