Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
