you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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