Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
