Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
