im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize