I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
so much tequila, so little girl.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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