she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I skipped work to stalk him.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
