...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
