Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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