Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
