I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
