I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
