I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
