Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
