I'm so fucking centered right now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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