i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
