Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
