i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
