'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
