Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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