I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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