dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
