I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
