I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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