dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
