Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
