Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You don't make any sense
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