How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
