i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
honey bunches of taint.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
