Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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