I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
