I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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