She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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