Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
