Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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