I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
