He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
