Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
