I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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