just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
