i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Your dad touched me again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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