I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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