D3 body, D1 cock
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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