dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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