she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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