i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
