Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
