If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
