Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
