try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
