If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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