Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
